The vast majority of us are well aware of the things we need to do in order to improve our lives. We know we need to exercise if we want to get fitter. We know we need to sort out our diet if we want to get healthier. We know we need to work harder to get a better job. We know we need to spend more time on growing our business. So why aren’t we taking the steps to improving our lives?
Essentially, your subconscious beliefs and perceptions can cause you to sabotage your own efforts to improve your life. These beliefs come from your upbringing and the experiences that you’ve had growing up. You may end up actually feeling as if you don’t deserve your goals, don’t deserve the dream job or the dream partner you’ve always wanted.
As an example, imagine that your parents had told you when you were young that rich people were a different breed, they were supposed to be rich because life intended it that way or that making a lot of money is selfish and there are higher purposes in life. That we are different from them. These perceptions can become core beliefs in our life and subconsciously hold us back from achieving our goals. We begin to set ceilings for how much we deserve right from early childhood and many of us don’t even recognise this throughout our lives.
Think about it, none of us consciously want to be unhappy, lead an unfulfilled life or be stuck in that 9-5 job we despise. So why do we allow that negativity to exist in our lives in the first place?
Paradoxically, we actually get what we want when we continue to live our unsatisfactory lives. Part of you actually loves all the things you hate about yourself, it serves a purpose. It protects the identity that you and your ego have created for yourself. If you identify yourself as the depressed, hard-done-by and disadvantaged person, you will subconsciously resist anything which takes you further away from that identity through procrastination, irrational fears and denial. Once we form an identity around being the kind of person who just tolerates our life situation and is deeply unhappy, it becomes much harder to break through the inner resistance and create a productive, positive mind-set.
Your identity as this kind of person fuels your ego. You subconsciously benefit from the sympathy and compassion you get. Victimising yourself may get you the pity and justification you need to be somewhat satisfied with your life. And so you remain stuck in the cycle.
Although it may seem harsh, the reality is that it’s always been “You Against Yourself”. The sooner you realise this and begin to fight it, the sooner you can start to truly become productive and work towards a better and happier future. Instead of looking around for aspects of your life situation to blame, whether it be your financial situation, the politics of your area or even your family. Realise that you are essentially the only thing stopping yourself from achieving what you’ve always wanted to. Identifying this barrier in the first place is a huge step towards becoming a better version of yourself.
On one level, I promote fully accepting the present moment and loving your life the way it is. Don’t let your happiness rely on some goal in the future or some material possessions. But on another level, there is a sense of pride which comes from actually living your dreams and accomplishing those difficult and fulfilling goals.
If this article has helped you identify your inner resistance or given you any insight, leave a comment and share! You may help change someone else’s life too.